In Him, My Worth is Found.

Growing up, I didn’t think it was okay not being liked by anyone. I built my relevance around how people saw me, on whether they liked to be associated with me, and on whether I was doing enough to be in the ‘clique.’ of most liked people.

So when the disappointment that I wasn’t liked enough hit me, it made me strive harder.
“No, this person has got to like me.”
I was silly enough to review the circumstances that made things change. I’d break it down to what I said when we were together, how I ate, if I being noisy when we ate or maybe I didn’t use my napkin properly. Ha!

My worth was dwindling daily. It rose up when someone new found me fascinating enough to want to talk to me and be with me. It went down to point zero when I didn’t find any real friend around me. This isn’t a stable way to live and feel worthy. I knew something wasn’t right, but because I had no other option, I didn’t really know any other way to live, it automatically made living that way right. I found my worth in how people saw me, in the opinions of society. I followed their dictates because, hey, some girl has got to feel worthy and all.
I followed the ones who acted like they had everything anyone could ever need, and all I ever wanted to do was match my footsteps with theirs, learn to talk the way they did and associate with people who made them feel so powerful.
My identity was wacky and sometimes confusing.
Some days, I was this girl who thought she loved the Lord and would do anything for him, and other days I’d bounce to other opportunities which made provisions available for fame and acceptance.

Even with all that, fulfillment was lacking. I wanted more, more and more. It didn’t seem to be enough. Do you know why I couldn’t find fulfillment in all those things?
Because I was created to reflect the glory of God and not carry the opinions of people on my head like a baggage, and since the main goal in seeking an identity outside of Christ is to bring glory to ourselves, we will never find lasting fulfillment apart from him.

Today, things are different.
Today, I’m conscious of the fact that since I met Christ I don’t need the opinions of Society to make me feel or live better, I have the proof of God’s love for me when I look at the Cross and I see the blood of someone’s precious son dripping for me. For me who didn’t care before, for me who wasn’t contented with what he presented before. For me who was so filthy and had only hope to present. He died to show me my worth, I didn’t have to crawl and beg to earn it.

Are you still searching for your identity as a Christian?
Quit searching for what you already have. God has replaced that identity which didn’t give you the peace you craved for.

Remember, I’m available for discussions. Send me a message via my email address, anytime.
Thank you!

I love you, and God loves you even better.
Keep basking in God’s Love.

@just.idara