𝑨𝑵 𝑶𝑷𝑬𝑵 𝑳𝑬𝑻𝑻𝑬𝑹 𝑻𝑶 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑮𝑹𝑶𝑾𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑪𝑯𝑹𝑰𝑺𝑻𝑰𝑨𝑵 𝑪𝑶𝑴𝑴𝑼𝑵𝑰𝑻𝒀

𝑨𝑵 𝑶𝑷𝑬𝑵 𝑳𝑬𝑻𝑻𝑬𝑹 𝑻𝑶 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑮𝑹𝑶𝑾𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑪𝑯𝑹𝑰𝑺𝑻𝑰𝑨𝑵 𝑪𝑶𝑴𝑴𝑼𝑵𝑰𝑻𝒀

During the last few months, in the previous year, my consistency and productivity in the community waned cold.

It was dragging on so much that I felt incompetent and inefficient.

And of course, I told Papa. I told him I wasn’t the best fit for this, because my weaknesses were taking me on a guilt trip.

A trip I was too happy to take, because well, I felt I deserved that, because how do you fail God and so many people at a time?

Consistently failing.

Every day, I look at TGC goals and plans and how inconsistent I was in following everything to the letter, it made my Spirit low.

It made me realize how weak I was, and my escape route was flight.

Yes, I tried to run many times, yet God was waiting at the other end.

Helping me see that I could be made strong in my weaknesses, I just had to yield.

God was waiting to lead me to face my fears, because since I thought this would kill me, God knew that was just the valley of the shadow of death, I couldn’t be touched.

The last few months of the previous year riled me up to my bones.

It shook me.

Ah.

It helped me see that you could have everything, yet if it doesn’t include what God wants you to have, it’s null and void.

I’m glad I see clearly.

I’m glad that God is consistently bringing beauty out of ashes and letting me experience what I did so I could learn and be better.

This note is not a promise to be all that this Community wants me to be, it is me, assuring myself that I would consistently hold the Hands of God to produce fruits.

And I’m grateful that I get to do this with Community members.

Thank you for not giving up on me.

I love you.

God bless you.

Team lead.